Remember Why You Started

I am now spending my last year at my college. It's gonna be so memorable since I'm going to have many events or activities that are surely be the last one. I'm excited that I am going to finish my study soon. But I'm also sad that I'm not gonna see my friends that I always see everyday. At the same time, I'm also afraid that I can't go through it.

Those feelings have been around me since my seniors graduated in May. I have never been this like this. I spent my time to do and finish my last assignment since it must be submitted in the beginning of July. Oh, did I ever tell you that I had been waiting on something that was not clear last 2 months. You can read it here --> https://nadyabrigs.blogspot.com/2019/05/waiting-on-gods-answers.html

So, I did my first term paper (yes, there will be the second paper :D) in the whole June. Since it is very important, I even spent my holiday for 10 days only at home (actually my holiday is 30 days. I spent the rest of 20 days at dorm to focus on my term paper. At first, I didn't know what to write, but then I was being initiative to ask one of the lecturers about my topic that I will work on. After that, I started to find references which are books from the library (I even went to the National Library of Indonesia with my roommate and my classmates) and internet, online journals, and any other researches on the internet. I found many that are relevant with my topic. But, I was so confused how to synthesize and paraphrase it to my paper. i asked my close friend to help me and he gave me many inputs for the better content of my paper. Thanks a lot to him anyway :)

When I was confused and even stressed with it, I brought it to prayer and I was taken back to the first time when I got to the college. Remember why I started. I was reminded by God about the reason and purpose why I am here, studying in the field of education and staying in dormitory. Yes, it was hard that time because i was being pushed by the due date. But, I didn't face it alone. God's with me. He doesn't leave me alone to do all of this. Not only that, my parents also support me fully. I know that they really expect me to do my best in this paper. I know that they can't wait to see their daughter to be graduated from the university. I know that I have to make them proud. Another one, my friends, my juniors, and my mentor never get bored to cheer each other up. These what strengthen me so far.

I am so thankful to God that I'm actually never alone and He will always be there to give me strength and wisdom. Yes, this is going to be the last year. Yes, this is hard. Yes, this is full of challenges. Yes, this is going to make me confused sometimes. Yes, this is going to be memorable moments. And yes, God is with me. The truest friend who will never let disappoint me nor leave me. And yes, there is nothing I need to worry about. There is no reason I should be afraid about. 

By the way, I'm going to do my second practicum (PPL 2) in a Christian school in West Jakarta. I'm thankful that the school is not that far. I even don't need to prepare food for my breakfast because the dormitory has provided it for all of us. I'm also thankful that I'm gonna teach primary students (grade 1-6) and the subject is English, of course. I just hope and pray that I can really do my best for this practicum because it's going to be the one where I have to make my second term paper.

But, as a=I said before. I have a big God who is bigger than any struggles that I have. Being afraid is normal, it's human nature. But, by surrendering all in God's hands, everything is possible. Keep your faith.

So, when it comes to times where you are confused, stressed and struggle with it, just remember why you started and simply come to God. He will give you rest and the best solution.

God bless you

~Nad's