Under HIStruction: First Year Journey

One day the world stopped
Without any warning
Spring didn’t know to wait
Showed up not even a minute late
Streets erased of footprints
I lie here, fallen to the ground
Time goes by on its own
Without a single apology

For some of you, especially those who fall in love with K-pop are familiar with the song lyrics above. I mean I only pick the English for better understanding. Why did I start this post with lyrics from BTS? Well, somehow it is related with our life, with my life this past one year. It all started when the pandemic roamed the whole world. Everyone became worried, anxious, did not know what to do, including me personally. I didn't feel the euphoria of graduation with my friends at university and I couldn't even say goodbye properly. At the same time, I also had to go through my first journey as a teacher in a city far away from my family. Teaching in the midst of pandemic as a first year teacher was like walking in a blurry path without any road signs and all I could do is trying some ways to get to the finish line.

It looks like rain again today
I’m soaked to the bone
Still won’t stop
Running faster than that cloud of rain
Thought that’d be enough
Guess I’m only human after all  

I’m in a world of pain
This cold the world gave to me
Prompts me to press the dust-covered rewind
Dancing off-beat lying on the ground
Once winter comes, let’s exhale
A warmer breath

But, time goes by on its own without a single apology. I had to continue my life no matter what. I flew to Palembang and left my family for the first time on June 27, 2020. Read more about my first month in this post. Without having any clues of how to survive, I met my friends (there were 8) who became my housemates. I had to adjust myself with so many stuff around me. My teaching life didn't run smoothly in the beginning. I struggled a lot with time management, teaching strategies, teacher's administration, and so on. Sometimes, I found myself got exhausted and cried because of all this. 

There’s no end in sight
Is there a way out?
My feet refuse to move oh
Close your eyes for a moment
Hold my hand
To that future, let’s run away

As I said before, I lived with 8 persons in the same house this past year. We were so close at first and spent time to gather around together in the living room often. As days went by, we started to show the real personalities. Well, did I say that all those people are woman? Okay, now you know. So, we disagreed with this and that. Also, the work load that each one of us had made us seeing things differently. I think that's the reason why some of us could not relate with one another. However, I could still feel glad and relieved because there were a few of them who can cheer up my day. Although I have been through the unending tasks and tiredness, they can always support me and encourage me to keep going.

Let me tell you with this song
People say the world has changed
But thankfully between you and me
Nothing’s changed

With the “annyeong” that we start and finish the day
Let us thread tomorrow with today
Stopped for now but don’t hide in the shadow
Once again daylight will glow

I have to admit that I'm sad when I taught my student in the last week of school. I haven't even met all of them in persons. Fortunately, there was one day (report card day) where my students with their parents came to school to take their report card and met me face-to-face. There were 11 students whose faces I could finally see. I'm beyond thankful for that rare opportunity. After that, I had the very last online session with my students which made me sad and excited at the same time, We have done so much things and I'm so proud of them. 

The word "annyeong" above means two: "hello" and "goodbye". Yes, where there is a hello, there will be a goodbye. I still remember the first day of school when I said hello to my students and I introduced myself as their teacher. I didn't expect that time went so fast. Now I had to say goodbye to them. I will miss my grade 4 students although we only met through screen for one year. I will miss those times when me or some of them had a bad internet connection that made our class activities didn't run well. I didn't really fall into tears because I still can meet them at school because it will be opened in the next academic year. I will also miss my housemates where we have spent one year living together with so many cheers and tears that later we call it memories. After this holiday ends, we will not meet that often anymore but we still have chance to meet each other at school.

Like an echo in the forest
The day will come back around
As if nothing happened
Yeah life goes on
Like an arrow in the blue sky
Another day flying by
On my pillow, on my table
Yeah life goes on
Like this again

At the end, I know that there is one person who gives me instruction to do everything that I've done so far. This person is God who took control of my life this past one year. His instruction ran together with His plan. When He instructed me to go to the city I never visited before, I was clueless at first. But He took my hand and walked beside me so that I could enjoy my journey and finally reached the finish line. Despite all things I've been through, this is life. Like an echo in the forest, the day will come back around as if nothing happened. Yeah, life goes on. 

There will be the second journey ahead. I believe God will guide me as He instructs me to go on what He has planned. If you're reading this, live your life under His instruction for He knows the good things for us.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my eye upon you. (Psalm 32:8)

Credits

-song lyrics: https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2020/11/bts-bangtansonyeondan-life-goes-on

-image: unsplash